Intimacy.
Caught you attention...didn't I? This is a subject I have been thinking about a lot lately. These days we think of intimacy as sex- but that is not what I mean. Intimacy- the ability to share yourself with someone or to make someone familiar with something. It is not as easy as it sounds.
-Intimacy is the ability to ask for things from other people. Instead of pretending you have it all together or can handle everything yourself ask for help or information or for something you want. This can be VERY difficult. I don't ask for things I want because I might be rejected. Instead I hint at it- or make up reasons it will benefit the other person if they help me. That way I don't feel too vulenerable.
-Intimacy is the ability to confront someone about something that they are doing that is hurtful to you or to themselves. When you do this you show respect for the other person. You are also saying that you are willing to put yourself in a vulnerable position to protect the relationship. It is never fun to tell someone you love that you think they are making a mistake or doing something they shouldn't be doing because they might turn on you! By confronting them anyway you show that you are willing to be genuine with them even though it might be uncomfortable, risky or unpleasent for you.
-Intimacy is looking people in the eyes.
-Intimacy is actually feeling people when you touch them. Not just a pat on the back but a long firm hug- most people can't sustain a hug for more than three seconds!
-Intimacy in confessing when you have done something wrong. Because although the person you love might be disappointed at least they will know the real you - and that is most important in intimacy.
-Intimacy means allowing awkardness, confusion, anger, sadness, rejection and unknowing in a relationship and not rushing to cover it over or sweep it under the rug- but allowing it to develop and hang until it is resolved.
Intimacy is really really hard- but so worth it.
posted by Rachel @ 11:37 PM
3 Comments:
I was reading the other day that successful relationships are made of passion, intimacy and commitment. For a time one or two can sustain but in the long run all three are required. Everyone has the right ot ask for what they want or need.
Do intimacy, passion and commitment correlate to aggape, eros and phlieo somehow?
does that mean that a successful relationship is a three-legged stool? If we have commitment, but not intimacy or passion the long run will be achieved but not sucess in the relationship?
Anyway,about intimacy what about the offering of a peek at my soul and hearing raucous laughter or indifference? Am as I called to repeated revelation as I am to forgiveness? 7 times enough is way too much!
Have you ever seen one of those pennies run over by a train? That's what I feel like. Do I continue to put my precios little pennies on the track, and hope the train will stop? I will end up impoverished yet with a pile of mishapen, mutilated offerings because the train can not be stopped and that's not where pennies should be placed.
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