Only two weeks until I am done with the Commonwealth of Virginia! I cannot believe that we have lived here for almost 8 months. Clint and I were talking today about how ridiculous it is that he had been at his job for less than two months when all the trouble started. Two months is barely enough time to learn everyone's names let alone the job. Oh well- water under the bridge.

Here are some of the lessons I have learned in the past 8 months:

-There is no perfect place to live- there are really good things and really bad things about everywhere in Americia. The trick is to pick what things you are willing to compromise and what things you aren't.

-I have learned how to have an identity apart from what I do. I have learned that at my core I am the same person whether I am seeing clients all day everyday or rarely leaving my house. My identity is based on more than circumstances or behaviors.

-You can do a whole lot with leftovers.

-The internet can be your friend and your link with the world.

-People can be so gracious in the ways they take care of you. We have had people send us money, take us out to lunch, send us to the movies and give us groceries. I have never felt more loved in my life!

-You can do A LOT with 4 dollars like rent a movie, go to McDonalds, get some ice cream or coffee or buy a used book.

- If you marry someone you respect you always feel safe. Even when things aren't going well or you are unhappy or anxious you never feel like you are alone.

Got a new Netflix documentary today called "Tammy Faye's Eyes" - I'll let you know how that one goes!

I spent some time today reading a classified document recently published onlineof Hitler's psychological profile. It is facinating! For example: Hitler promoted strength, pure blood and fertility but he was none of the three. Growing up he was a wimpy little kid who was very effeminate. His Great-grandfather was Jewish. He was impotent. Interesting.

I made the mistake today of signing on to the Camp Hunt website. I should not have done that. All I saw were people I didn't know in buildings I had never seen and it made me sad and sick to my stomach. I saw a few people I recognized and that just made me resentful that they get to still be a at camp and I don't.I am not sure I have ever thought about what the loss of that place meant to me- and I am sure not going to do it now. You know what they say- if something makes you sad try really hard not to think about it and eventually it will go away. (Logic like this is why I am able to make a living as a therapist!)

Today was a breath taking day. I sat outside in the sunshine for about three hours doing nothing but sitting and thinking. It was wonderful. I think I even got a little sunburned although I am NOT complaining!

Clint had another job interview yesterday with a small private school in Austin. The job, on paper, sounded like something he would want to do. After talking with the people though, he is not sure about it. They painted the job as a high stress, frequent deadline tightly run ship where there were bottome lines to meet all the time etc. It did not sound like a very nice working environment at all. The men said one of the problems with the job is that you have to commit a lot of time to it- and that you can't take a vacation anytime between May and August because it is their busy season. That sounds ridiculous to me. Anyway- we are not holding our breath for that job!

One good thing that happened- Clint has a contact in Nashville who used to work for Waylon Jennings before he died. She was talking with Clint the other day and said that if he wanted her to she would be happy to write him a reccommendation out of the office of Waylon Jennings. We are happy about that- but don't know exactly how to take advantage of the opportunity.

One thing I did not consider when Clint and I decided to dye 15 hard boiled eggs on Saturday; we now have 15 dyed hard boiled eggs to eat. That's a lot of eggs!

Today I went out and checked the mail in a t-shirt and no jacket. It was wonderful.

I can't wait until I live someplace where I can paint the walls!

Easter Sunday. I heard on TV today that the Pope believes that suffering is holy. He said that gives you a better understanding of others pain and the suffering is an honor that refines you. It seems like, in general, anything that is really hard refines you, so it makes sense that suffering and death would fit in that category!

We watched the Michigan State vs. Kentucky game tonight. It was a GREAT game. It went into double overtime before Michigan State finally won. My prediction for the final game: Illinois vs North Carolina. Winner: North Carolina.

If you can get the movie Spellbound do it! It is a movie about the 1999 spelling bee championship and it is fascinating and funny. I highly recommend it!

Final intimacy thought:
Validation and safety are not good reasons to reveal your true self to other people. Find out who you are and then have the courage to be honest about it even if you think someone you love won't approve.

Today was Easter egg dying day. I don't know what it is about that activity that I love so much. When Clint and I do it together it is definitely a study in our temprements and personalities! I dyed about 11 eggs and Clint dyed about 3. At one point I was dying two eggs at one time. My favorite colors to dye with this time were peach and lime green. My eggs have weird designs, are multi-colored and are not too dark because that takes too long! I want to dip them and move on. Clint on the other hand is very attentive to the egg he is dying (it would be torture for him to do more than one at a time.) He says a good egg is one that has even strong bright color so he spends a lot of time rotating and bathing his egg in the dye. His favorite colors today were straight blue and straight red. He is very steady and thoughtful while he is dying. When we started I set out four paper towels- two for him and two for me. When we finished Clint had only used one of his paper towels and it had about 6 drips of color on it. I had used both of mine- and the other one of his and when I got done with them they looked like soggy crumpled tie-dyed towels. We are so opposite it is a wonder we get along- although we have decided we prefer being refered to as complimentary!

Intimacy.

Caught you attention...didn't I? This is a subject I have been thinking about a lot lately. These days we think of intimacy as sex- but that is not what I mean. Intimacy- the ability to share yourself with someone or to make someone familiar with something. It is not as easy as it sounds.

-Intimacy is the ability to ask for things from other people. Instead of pretending you have it all together or can handle everything yourself ask for help or information or for something you want. This can be VERY difficult. I don't ask for things I want because I might be rejected. Instead I hint at it- or make up reasons it will benefit the other person if they help me. That way I don't feel too vulenerable.

-Intimacy is the ability to confront someone about something that they are doing that is hurtful to you or to themselves. When you do this you show respect for the other person. You are also saying that you are willing to put yourself in a vulnerable position to protect the relationship. It is never fun to tell someone you love that you think they are making a mistake or doing something they shouldn't be doing because they might turn on you! By confronting them anyway you show that you are willing to be genuine with them even though it might be uncomfortable, risky or unpleasent for you.

-Intimacy is looking people in the eyes.

-Intimacy is actually feeling people when you touch them. Not just a pat on the back but a long firm hug- most people can't sustain a hug for more than three seconds!

-Intimacy in confessing when you have done something wrong. Because although the person you love might be disappointed at least they will know the real you - and that is most important in intimacy.

-Intimacy means allowing awkardness, confusion, anger, sadness, rejection and unknowing in a relationship and not rushing to cover it over or sweep it under the rug- but allowing it to develop and hang until it is resolved.

Intimacy is really really hard- but so worth it.

I got 15 new BIG boxes today so I have been filling them up with all sorts of odds and ends that I think we won't miss in the next few weeks. Clint came home and randomly asked where his shoe shine kit was. Of course I had just packed it in the bottom of one of the boxes. I have a feeling it was the first in a long line of "Where is ________" and "Darn...I really needed________"
Ahhhh- the joys of being a Nomad.

Today was a hard day. I should have known when my moring was spent meditating about hoping against hope. The scripture was in Romans 4 when it says that Abraham "hoped against hope" and "..did not waver through unbelief..but believed that God had the power to do what he had promised." THAT should have been my first clue. I talked to my brother about it and he said that Benedict Spinoza, a 16th century philosopher said that hope was "wanting something whose existance or attainability we doubt." Spinoza also said "There is no hope unmingled with fear, and no fear unmingled with hope." I love that idea- that to have fear and doubt is inherent in hopefulness. Hope means in spite of the odds we are holding out for something. As a person of faith I sometimes expect more from myself. I think "Is that all you can do is hope? There should be no doubt or fear with God- you should KNOW that he is going to work it out." But God is not Santa. People pray and their loved ones still die or their children get taken and they get fired. I do know that whatever happens that God sustains me. But in specific situations we do not have a guarentee that God is going to act the way we think he should and so sometimes the best we can be is hopeful.

We found out today that to move out of our apartment is going to cost us almost three times what we were told and had been planning for. When I found out I was overwhelmed with feelings of hopelessness. Immediately I started trying to figure out where that money is going to come from. Here is something I learned after several hours of working, figuring, manipulating and sweating. Money doesn't care about all your hard work- it is what it is and it is impossible to make it grow just by being anxious about it. However- this I know for a fact- I have never been hungry, I have never been without a roof and I have never needed something that was not provided. So I choose hopefulness instead of hopelessness. Even though I don't see how it is going to work out I am holding out that we will be provided for abundantly. The how is where fear and doubt comes in. I can't see how God is going to work it out but he will. I hope.

Slow day. The biggest news is that I painted my fingernails pink- ya know- for spring.

I packed up most of my winter clothes so they can soon go into storage and dusted off my flip-flops and shorts.

I wondered if super models feel stupid while they are posing. They have to make a lot of funny faces. I tried to do this while I was alone...looking happy, aluring, surprised etc and I felt extremely stupid.

I watched about 12 minutes of the Home Shopping Network while I ate my lunch. I don't know how those women do it but I get sucked in everytime. It doesn't matter what silly thing they are selling, pretty soon I start thinking "Yes. I REALLY need that antioxident treatment for my feet." I have to turn the channel to break the spell and then I realize how close I came to going under.

Told ya'... slow day.

Tomorrow Clint has a talk with his boss as they try to figure out when exactly his last day will be. We are thinking that the 13 of April will be the last day he goes to work, and we will be moved out of our apartment by the 19th. That is less than a MONTH! I am finally at the stage that I find myself daydreaming about what it will be like to live in Austin. For those of you who know me, you know that in the past I have been a bit....negative about Texas. (For those of you who love Texas I know it is hard for you to imagine such a thing!!) I feel in some ways that I should justify my recent attitude adjustment about that state- not so much for you but more so I can be sure to understand it. I have been on a journey...I have my whole life claimed as part of my identity citizenship with the North East. I was proud of that part of the country. When I went to college I had no idea the extent of the culture shock I was about to experience. I never chose to embrace the South- I was thrown in to it and I was resistant to it. All through my college years I was resentful that I had, unwillingly, moved to a different country where I didn't understand the culture, the language or the women! I dreamed about the time when I could return to where I was comfortable. I ignored anything good about the place I found myself, in order to be loyal to my history. I dreamed about the wonderful things I would eventually get back to; Fall, soup,trees, fireplaces, beautiful eastern accents and names of places I was familiar with like New York, Brandywine, Manassas, Montrose. Meanwhile I met Clint and he started to show me the good things about Texas and I admitted they were "good" but they weren't wonderful or comfortable. THEN came time for us to move here- where my heart had been all these years only I found out that it wasn't. I missed 100 degree heat and pecan trees, Mexican food and huge churches, diesel trucks and the rattlesnake round-up. It seems that while I was in Texas I had given up my citizenship to this part of the world and I hadn't even known it- and I felt like I belonged nowhere except Texas. I find myself now, just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, headed back home to things familiar with a renewed sense of wonderment that it was in my backyard all the time. The only consolation is that without the journey- I never would have known.

Another beautiful day. Church was good. It was their first Sunday in a new location and I think that the change is going to work well for them. They have officially started the Journey service- which is a service for college and young professionals. They don't have too many of those yet...but these things take time. We met about 6 or 8 new people and because we are still considered visitors (I guess because we haven't placed membership yet) we got two coffee mugs for coming.

We watched a couple of episodes of the Mary Tyler Moore show that we got from Netflix. That is one of my all time favorite shows. Another Netflix acquisition that we watched the other day was Matchstick Men. DON'T waste your time on that one. The last 8 minutes were entertaining, but we ended up fast-forwarding through a good part of it and I don't think we missed much!

I know I have declared Spring about six times before but this time I really mean it. Today was a beautiful day and it seems that all of Charlottesville was infected with Spring fever. Today Clint and I ventured out to the campus without our coats on. The temperature was hovering right around 60 and everyone was outside. On the campus we had several choices of impromptu sporting events to watch. In the shadow of Jefferson's great Rotunda there was soccer, catch and (the one we settled on) ultimate Frisbee. We sat in the glorious sun (I know- glorious sounds a bit like an over statement, but after a cold dark winter it really is the only way to describe it!) on the green grass and watched people throwing the Frisbee, waking their dogs and eating picnic lunches. We saw a new smoker try four times to light his cigarette in the wind and then pay careful attention to it as he read the newspaper, switching hands eight times and coming close to accidentally putting it out on a woman walking by. We saw two blondes eating (trying to eat) sushi with chopsticks. We saw a dad trying to teach his young son how to fly a kite while I hummed the song "Let's go Fly a Kite" and even after they had given up and gone home I was stuck with that song in my head for the rest of the afternoon. Spring, it seems, is about the end of being alone in your house trying to keep warm. It is about rejoining society and about the fact that although things might appear dead for awhile, they are never past resurrection! I have never been more ready for Spring.

Today I packed about 80 percent of our dishes. We really don't have too many dishes- the problem is the number of glasses we own. I don't know what happened when we were registering for things for our wedding shower gifts but we asked for a billion glasses. We got regular everyday glasses in three different sizes, we got polka-dot glasses that match our silverware and we got square juice glasses. Those right there equal about 35 glasses. There's more. We also got three other sets of glasses that we didn't ask for and those came without receipts. All three of them were from couples who just recently got married so we suspect that they regifted some of the glasses they got from their wedding showers. In that collection we have water goblets, swirled glass and lightly tinted tall glasses. Those equal about 20 and I've just gotten started! Then we have to have red wine glasses, white wine glasses, beersteins, champagne glasses (six old fashioned and two flutes), martini glasses, and heavy crystal based highball glasses (I don't even know what you drink out of highball glasses, but Clint inherited them from his roommate's so we have them). How often do we use these specialty glasses you might ask? Well suffice it to say that when I packed them I had to remove a thick layer of dust from them before I could wrap them in newspaper. Yes, yes, I HAVE thought of getting rid of some of them especially since I have had to pack them twice since I got them all. The problem is I just don't know which ones I could live without!

I'm BACK!! I have been unable to publish anything on my blog for the past two days. I think the site was having technical difficulties or something because I tried if from two different computers to no avail. I am sure thousands of people have been disappointed in the past few days when they logged on to my site to find no new posts. To all my millions of disheartened fans I want to remind them how seriously I take my responsibility to keep an up-to-date blog. As long as it is within my power I will keep you informed of the excruciating minutia of my everyday life.

Wednesdays are always hard because they are right in the middle of the week. Today was especially hard because it turned from Spring weather to cold, dreary and gray. Clint and I fell back into some of our old feelings of being overwhelmed and feeling like we aren't living life- all we are doing is maintaining it. Feelings are such amazing things. No matter how hard your logical brain tries to persuade you that what you feel isn't necessarily true, your feelings demand that they be indulged! Once when I was about 14 I remember sitting in my room just BAWLING...My mom came in and asked what was wrong and I had to say that I had no idea that I just felt really really sad and lonely. My parents were really good at allowing me to feel sad for no reason. When I was really little- about five- sometimes I would get sad in the middle of the night. So I would creep into my parents room and go to my dad and tell him that I had a bad dream so he would let me get in my parents bed and then I would feel much better. I remember one night he told me that I didn't always have to say that I had a bad dreams- that if I just felt sad sometimes that that was a good enough reason to come in and wake him up. It was music to my ears!

Tonight, in order to rejuvenate our spirits, we splurged and got a pizza and watched IU basketball. There is nothing like pizza to pick you up, no matter how sad you are. So I ended the night feeling great- even though my team lost. THAT is the power of pizza!

My Netfilx finally came today! Clint and I just got done watching Man on Fire. It was good- a little depressing but still good. I think I am going a little overboard in my love of movies. My brother and I spent twnety minutes on the phone today trying to come up with a flow chart so I could maximize my movie watching potential. My personal goal is to see 60 free movies. I have purposely NOT figured out how many days of watching movies that translates into because it would depress me... and no one wants that!

The packing saga continues. It is amazing how many things we have that haven't seen the light of day since I put them in a box 8 months ago for the first move. I am trying to get rid of most of that stuff. It is amazing how picky you can be when you know you are going to have to lift your belongings a minimum of 6 times (from its current place to the box, the box from the apartment to a truck, from the truck to storage, from storage to the moving van, from the moving van to the new apartment, and the the item from the box to its new place!)

My In-laws gave Clint and me 15 pounds of ground elk when they came in December and it has been wonderful. For those of you who have never tasted elk (and I am sure that are at least a few of you out there) it has a lot less fat that beef- but tastes very much the same. I have been cooking elk stroganoff, elk burritos, elk chilli, elk meatloaf and our favorite elk burgers. We are down to our last 4 pounds and I have been trying to think of some other classic reciepes that I could subistitue elk for ground beef... any ideas?

I have been struggling with allergies these days. I get terrible sinus headaches and although the medicine that I take says it's non-drowsy, it knocks me out for hours at a time. When I do actually wake up it feels like my head is full of mud and my brain works at half capacity. It is not a pleasant existence. My friend told me about some homeopathic medicine that she says will solve all my problems- but I am always skeptical of that sort of thing. I guess I will have to give it a try.

The wonderful march towards packing continues. I am getting rid of a lot of stuff that has not seen the light of day since the LAST time I put it in a box. When one know that one will have to carry everything one owns at least six times (from its current place to a box, the box from the apartment to the truck, from the truck to storage, from storage to the moving van, from the moving van into the new apartment, and then into its new place) one tend to be very selective about what goes and what stays.

My Netflix movies haven't come yet. Woe is me! (You know you need a hobby when the failure to get some DVDs delivered is almost more than you can handle.)

The bad part about being poor is that it is SO boring. Clint and I play cards A LOT. Canasta is our favorite. We feel like an old couple sitting around drinking weak tea and playing cards. (I always win. Well, that is an over statement. I lost...once.)

We tried to fix our computer today- a process that took us over two hours. We kept hitting road blocks and so in the end we were not successful at all in fixing anything. We were, however, successful in erasing Microsoft word from our computer. How did we do that you might ask? I have no idea- I suppose it could have been in something that I put in the recycle bin while I was cleaning out the hard drive. Unfortunately I have been known to be slightly chaotic in my approach to things. They shouldn't have weird names for files. None of this WMAP or NFVI- just call it what it is. Word files should be named "VITALWORDFILE-DONTGETRIDOFTHISORTHEPROGRAMWILLNOTWORK"
That would be a little more clear to people like me!

Clint and I always have French toast on Saturday mornings- it is one of our traditions. We make it out of a loaf of crusty French bread which seems appropriate since it is FRENCH toast.

Today we went and bought three more rolls of tape so I can pack up boxes for the rest of the week. Thank goodness the last time we visited Bloomington my mom sent us home with a bunch of boxes so I have plenty!

"Anywhere-but Virginia-here-I come!"

IU lost by almost twenty points. Is my life not depressing enough? We have to add the insult of a losing basketball team?

Why me?!

Today my brother sent me a free month long trial membership to Netfilx. I can not tell you how much fun I have been having with it. I spent hours today online lining up all the movies I would like to be sent to me for my viewing pleasure. They have comedies and classics, independent films, documentaries, foreign films and best of all TV shows. I love the Mary Tyler Moore and Law and Order SVU. I cannot believe my good fortune. Not only do I get to go through and mark the ones I want to see, I also get to take a trip down memory lane as I review and rate all the movies I have seen already. I get to remember who I was with, how old I was, my favorite parts and the best lines. It has been SO fun to play with- and I haven't even actually gotten any of the movies in the mail yet. Thanks Luke!

It is supposed to snow on Friday. You all know what I think about that so I will spare you the tirade.

Today I used my entire first role of packing tape for this move. I felt good about having accomplished something. Not to mention it gives me an excellent excuse to take tomorrow off as far as packing goes because IU plays their first game in the Big Ten Tournament in the middle of the day. They are playing Minnesota and I have high hopes of their success. The only problem is if they win...they will have to play Illinois on Saturday. Illinois has only lost one game this season...and it WAS NOT to us. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it.

GO IU!

Not too much going on around here these days. I am busy during the day packing up the house (for the third time in 6 months). I am so happy that when we first moved in I didn't try like a mad woman to get all the boxes unpacked in the first place. It is remarkable how many things we have that we aren't going to miss if I pack them up: towels, pictures, books, kitchen stuff and video tapes. It makes me wonder if we really need them to begin with. I am so much happier now that I know our time in Virginia really is limited. It helps me get up in the morning when I actually have things that have to get done- and know I have to do them!

I have a very promising opportunity to work in a private practice full time with another woman in Austin. Honestly it is such a perfect situation that I am scared to get too excited about lest I be disappointed in the end. I will keep you posted as details become more solid. In the mean time keep your fingers crossed!

Faith, one of my MFT friends, sent me an article about how Meth changes a person's appearance in a very short time. Her husband, George Bitar, is quoted in the article which includes before and after pictures of people on Meth. It is fascinating and disturbing all at the same time. I had no idea how much the drug aged people. It is like the reverse of a make-over show. Here is the link: http://www.kcbd.com/Global/story.asp?s=3049662. Tell me what you think.

I don't know what it is about Jennifer Lopez but I am addicted to her against my will. Whenever I see her on anything I can't help but watch her. It is absolutely ridiculous. I even pretended to hate her for a little while because I should hate her. All the marriages and tabloid gossip...but at the end of the day I can't help myself. I really like her.

Clint and I spent an hour and a half on hold today with Cingular trying to get a problem solved. Finally I had to get really angry and THEN they decided to be helpful. I hate that.

Well spring has come and gone...we are expecting snow again soon. Make up your mind abou the season already!

Having a blog is a little like being on the radio because you have absolutely no feed back. For all I know I am the most boring person on the face of the Earth. (Except for you Faith- I know you think I’m amusing!) Also it’s weird because I don’t know who is reading it. That means that sometimes when I am talking to people, I don’t know if I am repeating myself or if the stories are really new to them. The worst is when I am talking to someone, telling them something I have just written about and I ask “Have you read my blog?” because I don’t want to be telling them something they already know. Then it turns awkward because they feel bad if they haven’t read my blog so they say “uh…um… no I usually do but ...I uh just haven’t gotten around to it yet today…but I will- I mean I always do.” Then I feel bad! All I am trying to do is figure out if I am sounding like a broken record or see if I can use a good line on them that I may have already used in the blog- not make them think that I am trying to hold them accountable for reading it! Hummm-taking attendance on my blog site. There’s an idea. “Let’s see who attended today…ok and all those absent are not my friends anymore!”

Another weird thing is when people mention stuff to me that I KNOW I did not tell them directly. It confuses me if I haven’t talked to someone in a week and they call and open the conversation with something about how my neighbors are getting along these days or how they would have liked to eat that 20 pound lobster too. I get kind of freaked out. It is strange that they have had some connection with me that I don’t even know about! All I do is sit in the spare bedroom typing away, sending my thoughts and feelings in to cyberspace.

Spring is in the air!! Spring fever and spring cleaning and all that are right around the corner and I have survived another winter. Hallelujah!

Two years ago yesterday Clint and I got engaged. I can't believe that was only two years ago!! It feels like I have lived a lifetime since then. He and I always try to think of our lives like a story that our children and grandchildren will hear. Most of the details get lost- like all the day to day stuff. What remains is told in bold strokes: She was from the North and he was from the South. She was Church of Christ and he was Baptist. They met and fell in love in Abilene. It is funny to me that we are in the middle of a life changing event, having moved out here to Virginia, and there is a chance that no one will even remember that part of our story eventually. One day one of our kids might say "Mom, I get confused. You met and married in Abilene, and I know you eventually moved to Austin but didn't you live in Virginia somewhere in there?!" AHH- how much I long for this part of our lives to be a small detail in the big picture!! It makes me wonder- there are parts of my parents story that I get confused about. They lived in Abilene, got married in California, lived in California, came back to Abilene etc. I wonder if they had similar experiences to ours here in Virginia. Anyway... I think it is good to live you life like a story that you get to write by the choices you make now. It makes it easier to leave the kind of legacy you want.

I know that I have acclimated to Virginia weather because this morning it was snowing like crazy and I looked outside and thought "That's not too bad. This will be a great day to go out and get coffee." We ended up getting 3 inches and again I am thinking to myself: "That's nothing!!" In Texas if we get anything that LOOKS like snow you hole up in the house and don't come out until the sun does. Sometimes even if it is just rain we think "Nope- too much weather out there. I am staying put!" In fact in Texas we don't think or talk about the weather too much. It is going to be sunny and fairly warm. If there is going to be a change- say rain or a cold front- it will be for several hours at the most. And if by some miracle we are lucky enough to get a good thunderstorm, people pull out their lawn chairs and sit on their porches like we are going to have a fireworks show! In Virginia weather is a BIG thing. There are long periods of time where it is very cold (I am told this is called winter) and long periods of time where it rains (again I am TOLD that this is why people are allowed to water their lawns all year around. But if it is raining all the time- who needs to water?!). You have to have varying degrees of warm clothes: something for blizzard conditions, something for wet and cold conditions, and something for "crisp" conditions. Winter is the North's big season. When you go to a restaurant around here they have coat hooks for you to hang up your coat before you sit down. In the churches there are vast coat closets to shed you outer wear before the sermon starts. In Texas people look at you strangely if you have a coat on. They are thinking "He's not native to these parts- if he was he'd know it's not going to be cold long enough to justify the hassle of a coat!"

Now if you will excuse me, I have a date (in blizzard conditions) with my husband to get ready for. I think I'll wear my long johns!

The 20 pound lobster died in quarantine in the museum. Again...what a waste.

Here are the lyrics to one of my favorite songs:
"You canary in the outlet by the light switch
Who watches over you?
Make a little birdhouse in your soul
Not to put to fine a point on it
Say I'm the only bee in your bonnet
Make a little birdhouse in your soul."
What does it mean you might ask? I have ABSOLUTELY no idea. Any suggestions are welcomed.

One last non-sequitor: funtrivia.com is a very cool site. You can take trivia quizzes on any subject known to man. My personal favorites are the TV show quizzes. I clean up on Seinfeld and The Mary Tyler Moore show. Just FYI

I believe that not getting out of Charlottesville is killing me- not to be too dramatic or anything. I really can't remember what it is like to live a purposeful life. I am getting OLD and I have spent too much time in this apartment in this city. I feel like it is always going to be like this... lonely, disposable, empty. I know that that isn't true but lately it sure feels that way. At LEAST I have kept from being bitter =)

So much for the return to optimism that I promised!

I saw a news article about a 20 pound lobster. It was selling for 320 dollars- but it went to a museum instead of someone's plate. What a waste!!

We heard from Brian today FINALLY! We will not be going to Pepperdine. It is too early to tell how I feel completely- but one good thing is that I am sadder that we don't have somewhere to go now rather that being sad that we are not going to Malibu. It's sort of like wanting to be in a relationship because you don't want to be alone rather than actually wanting to be with that particular person. Anyway at least I don't have to think about California anymore!

My IU team just lost a really important game by two points in the last .3 seconds. depressing.

Has anyone ever heard of winter allergies? I have been having the worst sinus headaches the past few days and I can't figure out what there is to be allergic to. Everything that grows is dead. We are covered in several inches of snow. What's the problem?!

Sorry-Pessimism seems to be the order of the day. Tomorrow I will embrace my usual optimistic outlook!